Neighborhood Old Men Announce Plans to Douse Themselves in Cologne for No Particular Reason

(Sunday Park)

At a press conference hosted by BARGE, the Brandermill Association of Retired Gentlemen, members announced on Monday that they would be dousing themselves in cologne for no particular reason.

“Whether at church, family events, the hardware store, or senior breakfast at Hardee’s, we will be well-doused in classic scents such as Brut, Aqua Velva, and English Leather,” spokesman Max Aroma told reporters. 

Aroma’s speech was reminiscent of past BARGE press conferences at which similar announcements have been made, including the Small Dog Agreement, the Birdwatching Decree, and the Breath Mint Directive.

“They will know us by our scent,” Aroma said in conclusion.