Kids Screwing Around With Sprinklers Again, Dad Reports

(Shallowford Landing)

At a press conference on his pristine lawn on Monday, father of three Aldie Niceturf reported that the kids have been screwing around with the sprinklers again.

"I noticed it this morning when I came out to drink my coffee and watch the sprinklers," said Niceturf. "Sprinkler Number 3 wasn't quite reaching the driveway, and Number 7 was spraying the northwest corner of the house." 

This isn't the first time Niceturf has seen evidence of his kids screwing around with stuff. There was that time they'd been screwing around with the settings on the TV, that time they’d been screwing around with the car seats, and that time they’d been screwing around with the security cameras. 

Niceturf has yet to provide evidence that his kids have actually been screwing around with the sprinklers, but he’s sure they are responsible. Anyone with information is encouraged to call the Beacon Crime Stoppers tip line.