During a press conference at the Pearly Gates on Friday, a spokesperson for Heaven announced that God received a non-compliance notice from the Brandermill Community Association for failure to seek approval prior to felling numerous trees in the neighborhood during the previous week’s storm.

Glen Scurvy, 38, of Walnut Creek, relies on a single daily banana to maintain his overall health, sources report.

Larry Barge, owner of local pontoon boat Sunny Daze, was reported on Thursday to be using nautical terminology with his passengers as he approached the dock at The Boathouse restaurant.

Great White Shark Toothy McFins held local man Bobby Saltlife underwater for a brief selfie on Sunday before releasing him back onto the beach.

Polyphony Digital, developer of the popular racing video game Gran Turismo, announced on Wednesday that Brandermill Parkway has been added to its track lineup.

A group of vigilante Brandermill residents has taken the enforcement of the HOA covenants into their own hands and has adopted the slogan, "We Don't Call the BCA." 

Brandermill resident Denise O’Startles has set a new standard for athletic consistency by being surprised by runners passing her on 14,493 consecutive walks.

In the 1970s, the rising cost of fuel and rapid population growth caused Santa Claus to look at outsourcing some of his deliveries to third parties who came to be known as The Second Santas.

Inspired by World Cup soccer, the popular Facebook group Branderdads will offer a ‘soccer flop’ clinic for avoiding yard work. 

In an annual tradition that dates back to the founding of the neighborhood, the Brandermill Community Association will pardon a reservoir goose on Thanksgiving Day.

At the request of its residents, the Brandermill Community Association has worked with a graphic design firm to create a commemorative platter depicting the historic signing of the neighborhood covenants.

If you spend enough time around any late-night cul-de-sac fire pit, you're bound to hear tales of the Brandermill Butcher.

Fear of an economic recession in the coming months has resulted in fewer trampolines per capita, a spokesperson for the Chesterfield Department of Economic Development reported on Wednesday.

Sales manager Chet Whitetooth has made several posts to the popular social platform LinkedIn, sources report.

“Brandsplaining” has become increasingly prevalent on Brandermill Facebook groups, sources report.

Lory Clutter’s post on the popular Facebook group Buy-Nothing Brandermill offered a grim look into the condition of her home interior.

Jenna Workhome of Shallowford Landing has postponed her daily walk to the mailbox until her neighbor, Bert Shootbreeze, goes back inside.

In an effort to reduce the amount of firework activity in our community this holiday weekend, members of the BranderPaws Facebook group have initiated a ‘no questions asked’ firework surrender program.